On one sacred day each year we stop and honor all those who have gone before us to secure our freedoms and our way of life. War is ugly. It is a tragedy. It is far too often unavoidable.

The common men and women who gave their lives for the good of our country became great to each of us through their sacrifice. There is no greater deed than to give your life for your fellow man.

In my own family I have three brothers who have served in the military. There are many uncles, cousins, nephews and nieces who have also served. Each of them is a part of a larger community that the rest of us will never really understand. But we can honor their service.

I remember the funeral I went to as a young school boy for my cousin Michael Borges. I remember seeing him in the casket, and that it didn’t look anything like him. He was killed in Vietnam when his Jeep ran over a land mine. It was the first time that I remember seeing anyone that I had known dead. Wasn’t it just a few short years ago I stood safely by him in the big family Christmas photograph?

My cousin’s name is engraved in the Vietnam Memorial at the Sacramento Capital.  When my son was a young boy I took him there to see the name, tell him the story and to talk about war. Hopefully it had an impact and someday he will return, and remember.

Another cousin, Leroy Kramer, was one of the greatest guys you would ever want to meet. He was always funny, loud, and enjoyed life to its fullest. He served in Vietnam as a U.S. Marine, and in later years suffered horribly from a neurological disease from the effects of agent orange. He passed away a few years ago, but over many of his last years while suffering from the disease he became a huge fundraiser for other veterans need. Lee was on a mission to help as many of his fellow veterans as he could.

On Memorial Day, I remember these two men especially. Both of their examples changed my life in way that is difficult to explain.  I think of all the families that have similar stories and how our nation is full of heroes lost. We must honor them all.

This Memorial Day enjoy the BBQ, the parties, the day to relax. But most of all remember why the sacred and historical day exists. We can all wonder why wars happen, but we can also stop long enough to honor the sacrifice given for what others believed in. They believed in us.